An Ominous Feeling
If I remember correctly, it was my first virtual group project of my undergrad era, but what should have been a great opportunity to connect with my peers turned out to be nothing short of a nightmare. Right at the start, the professor put out that group communication would not be monitored, so the expectation was on us students to figure everything out. Naturally, I waited.
I waited for someone to take charge…to start the conversation for our group and, eventually, a week had passed with nothing done, significantly cutting down on the amount of time we had to work on this project. I’ve never had trouble breaking the ice in group settings—public speaking comes quite naturally to me; however, it didn’t occur to me that I, myself, could have reached out to everyone in the first place. Instead of taking the initiative to lead, I thought it was up to someone to appoint me to the position.
I was overcome with fear just thinking about the fast-approaching deadline, and I got extremely stressed out by the unknown; I find that this is such a relatable feeling for so many young women entering leading roles—to underestimate the power of our contributions without recognizing the potential we have to offer. Suddenly, it struck me.
The Essence Intersection
Growing up in a Tamil-Hindu family, I have always been taught to live with “bhayabakthi”, and this denotes living with the fear that God is always watching. In retrospect, that “fear” is actually a strong devotion or respect for this entity that triggers good values and habits in daily life. Since that’s the case, then the same…no…a higher level of respect would apply to education—an aspect that comes before God in the sequence of reverence outlined in my culture.
Academics mean so much to me, not only because I have, thankfully, done consistently well in it but also because it is a value that was instilled in me since birth. So, it makes sense that I felt fear and stress in that early situation because, often, these responses sit close to the things we value most. I realized that the words of my ancestors and my educational journey are core to my Essence, serving as the foundational backbone of the way I lead my life and others in collaborative settings.
So, What Should Be Done?
Going back to my story, my Essence shaped my decision on how to move forward with this issue. I viewed my fear for the upcoming deadline and need to succeed as the respect I had for my education, and my stress was translated into eustress that motivated me to work efficiently. Basically, instead of finding ways to disregard these feelings, reframing them eased my mindset of the circumstances at-hand.
I reviewed the assignment instructions and rubric well before drafting a discussion board post and email thread with my groupmates; I made sure to loop in a member of the teaching team for oversight. Respectfully yet professionally, I proposed tasks that individuals could take up while mentioning that further delays wouldn’t be ideal. Also, by setting internal deadlines and making delegations convenient for my peers, we were able to connect and coordinate efficiently; ultimately, we received a great mark for our efforts, despite the initial hardships faced.
What I discovered here was astounding: sometimes, you just have to take the jump and lead. You may not deem yourself worthy of that position, or you may undervalue the role you play in a team; in reality, however, everyone just might be depending on you. So, if you ever feel overwhelmed by negative emotions when leading, just remember that they do not signal unpreparedness. Understand that fear and stress are rooted in care, tailor those feelings positively, and lead confidently to make a difference in the endeavours you are part of!
About the Author:
Adharsha John Sathyanath is a recent graduate of the BHSc Hons. program at Queen’s University, and she is an incoming MHSc student at Western University. Her passion for active involvement and leadership has allowed her to fulfill various roles spanning disciplines such as healthcare, education, and film/media. Such experiences pushed her to complete the Women Emerging Leadership Accelerator, thus becoming a WE Fellow who aspires to lead and inspire other young women. In her free time, Adharsha enjoys singing, content creation, and travelling.
