The Rhythm Remains 

As I reflected on combining Elements, I started by gathering words from the first session on Essence, the second session on Elements, the chapters, podcasts and conversations. One night, I worked my way through the alphabet, compiling a long list of qualities, capabilities and characteristics. 

I could not figure out what we were expected to do. Then life became busy and I simply could not find the time to do the work. The pause, however, did me a world of good. 

In my last essay, I spoke about reducing complexity without losing depth. I must admit that my first instinct was to move in the direction of complexity. Then along came Anne-Marie. We fixed a date to speak and just thinking about her, I began my journey back to the world of sanity. 

My first thought was: how do I show up for a call when I have not really done the work, apart from producing some complex rambles that my little head had come up with? 

By 5:15 that morning, I was still staring at words I had spent hours churning out in alphabetical order, most of which seemed to bear little relationship to what we had been asked to do.  

I pulled out my last essay and remembered that I had already started the work in Essence. Then I looked at my beautiful scribbles and circles and still could not make any sense of them. Eleven o’clock was staring at me in the face. 

Then I remembered a word that had quietly accompanied me every time I read or listened to something on Essence: ‘polarities. 

I love the word polarities 

Over the years, I have learned that my growth has rarely come from choosing one side over the other. It has come from learning to hold both, move between them and recognise when one is calling for expression over the other. My strongest insights often emerge from inhabiting both. 

For me, polarities have three characteristics: 

• Both sides have value. 

• Neither side can be permanently chosen over the other. 

• Mastery comes from moving between them rather than eliminating one. 

Working with the doses 

Anne-Marie and I spoke about the idea of balancing. Balance often suggests two elements sitting opposite each other, requiring equal attention or some form of management. We eventually agreed that the word could work if it was understood through the concept of doses. 

Mastery, therefore, comes from recognising our natural tendency to lean towards one side and consciously adjusting the dosage when necessary. 

Our goal in combining Elements is not to balance them at 50:50. The goal is to work with the doses. The doses matter, and they are determined by context. Different situations require different combinations and different proportions. 

I have come to believe that human beings can systematically adjust themselves and, to some extent, remove their own programming bugs. We can reprogramme ourselves in ways that are useful to our endeavours. 

I have also come to realise that much of life is shaped by perception. We see things not (only) as they are, but as we are. This makes curiosity just as important as certainty. 

As I stepped back from everything I had written over these months, complexity of thought quietly gave way to simplicity of thought. What emerged was a handful of master tensions that seem to define how I move through the world. 

Running through many of these polarities is a deep sense of responsibility. It is one of the strongest threads in my life. Whether I am navigating self and other, softness and strength, certainty and curiosity, or attachment and letting go, responsibility is often pulling at both sides. 

My continuing learning is that responsibility must be accompanied by trust: trust in others, trust in process, trust in timing, trust in knowing when it is time to let go, and trust that not everything rests on my shoulders. 

And rhythm? 

That word emerged from my Essence work. 

In many ways, rhythm is simply the dance between polarities. 

For me, rhythm is created by a few fundamental combinations that repeat, interact and shape my music. It is the organising principle. Since I rarely stay at one level, mastery comes from moving continually between polarities rather than eliminating one. 

Below are several master tensions that appear to shape how I move, not only in my philanthropy, but also in my work and life. Neither side of a polarity is chosen permanently because the choice depends entirely on context and situation. 

These tensions are dynamic. The elements move in response to circumstances rather than maintaining a fixed midpoint. They are not competing forces to be balanced in equilibrium; they are complementary forces that must coexist and interact. 

Master tensions 

Self and Other – Individuality and Collectivity 

Softness and Strength – Motherness lives here 

Certainty and Curiosity – Intuition and Inquiry 

Responsibility and Trust – Holding and Releasing 

Humility and Visibility – Service and Presence 

Stability and Change – Structure and Emergence 

Reflection and Action – Patience and Courage 

Attachment and Letting Go – Care and Release 

Wholeness and Precision – Big Picture and Detail 

Looking back now, I realise that I did not find a set of Elements. I found a way of understanding how my Elements work together. Their power does not lie in their individual expression, but in the combinations they create. 

The combinations shift. 

The doses shift. 

The context changes. 

Motherness, responsibility and rhythm remain. 

The rhythm remains. 

About the Author:

Dudun Peterside

Lagos, Nigeria is home and has been the anchor of Dudun’s life and much of her work in human development. She also has a home in the UK and increasingly finds herself moving across places and contexts — sometimes simply “upping and going” when family calls. One of her grandchildren lives in Paris, and she hopes, over time, to turn some of these movements into moments of retreat. Living across cultures and systems has become a familiar rhythm rather than an exception.

Dudun brings over 40 years of experience across applied psychology, education, and human development, with more than 20 years as a practising executive coach, working with individuals, teams, boards, organisations, and partnerships in the executive and leadership space. She remains a lifelong student of how people and systems experience the world — how they think, feel, make meaning, and respond. She sees human systems as living, intelligent entities, each with their own patterns, memories, fears, aspirations, intuition, and survival mechanisms. For Dudun, leadership emerges from understanding these patterns rather than imposing solutions. Her approach to leadership is fluid, responsive to context, culture, and the human system in front of her.