A Labour room can teach far more than most people imagine. Every day, midwives navigate moments that require technical excellence, emotional resilience and extraordinary trust. Their role is rarely about taking control; instead, it is about helping others discover their own strength at one of the most significant moments of their lives. 

This conversation explores two sides of that experience. The first examines the qualities that make midwives exceptional guides inside the labour room. The second asks a more uncomfortable question: why do so many of these same women lose their voice when they leave the delivery suite and enter the broader healthcare system? Together, these conversations uncover fifteen lessons that every profession can learn from. 

Guidance from the Labour Room 

Guidance in a maternity ward is not about “ordering people around,” but about acting as a companion to facilitate “natural processes”. The first lesson from the room is the transformative power of trust. Sylvia Hamata discovered that when she stopped trying to be “in charge” and instead offered her confidence to the woman first, the results were superior. She describes a “balanced” approach where she uses her clinical knowledge to “meet with their information halfway,” acknowledging that the woman possesses the only perspective the midwife can never have: the reality of what she is feeling in that moment. 

This trust is anchored in active listening. Olajumoke Adebayo emphasises that those in authority must “remove yourself from that high horse of power” to truly hear a patient’s “pain points”. In her experience, dropping every assumption and acknowledging that “you really don’t have all the knowledge” has often helped to prevent disastrous outcomes. 

Furthermore, these professionals teach the vital distinction between empathy and sympathy. Harriet Nayiga notes that while sympathy can make a guide “too weak to help,” empathy allows one to remain “strong and standing on the truth” while remaining present for someone in pain. Effective stewardship also requires the courage to ask for help. Adebayo argues that hiding panic is counterproductive; instead, admitting “at this point, you’re quite useless to the woman” prevents the mistakes that pride often causes. 

The Hallway: Coping with Invisibility 

Despite their mastery within the labour room, midwives frequently enter the wider world of health only to find they have “no voice”. Sylvia Hamata describes this experience as “suffocating,” explaining that it leads to a cycle of intense self-doubt where one wonders, “maybe I’m not smart enough… maybe I’m just not good enough”. 

When these individuals finally speak up after long periods of silence, their points can come out in an emotional rush that is dismissed as “irrational”. Hamata highlights the demeaning nature of being asked if it is “that time of the month” when voicing a concern, a tactic used specifically to “demean” and “shut you up”. Neha Mankani recalls moments in large meetings where she knew the answer to a clinical question but felt unable to vocalise it, wondering why her input would even be considered important. 

To navigate this, practitioners have developed survival strategies to reclaim their authority: 

  • “Acting it until you make it”: Neha Mankani advocates for pushing through “imposter syndrome”. By vocalising answers even when scared, professionals eventually realise that their input is relevant. 
  • Holding onto power: While Adebayo advocates for stripping oneself of power in the vulnerable space of the labour room, she argues the opposite for “masculine-dominated” spaces. In those environments, one must “hold on to” their power to avoid being “thrown to the back” or having their “vulnerability used against them”. 
  • Taking Unconventional Action: When formal channels fail, Hamata suggests that “taking action” is sometimes the only way to be heard. By implementing successful, albeit “unconditional,” changes—such as providing immunisations at night—midwives can force policy shifts through proven results. 

The transition from a “boss” to a true mentor is perhaps best illustrated by the power of the apology. Luseshelo Simwinga observes that “bosses” crush subordinates to advance their own careers, whereas true guides teach and help their teams grow. She recalls a superior who took responsibility for a systemic failure by saying “I’m very sorry,” an act of humility that earned him immense respect and transformed him in the eyes of his team. 

The 15 Golden Insights 

Drawn from the intensity of the maternity ward, these fifteen lessons offer a model for authority that resonates far beyond healthcare: 

  1. Listen actively: Listen, ask questions, and explicitly show people you are listening. 
  1. Collaborate: Ensure it is clear that “we’re doing this together”. 
  1. Trust first: Offer your trust to others; they will begin to trust you in return. 
  1. Two-way guidance: Your job is to provide guidance, but also to accept it. 
  1. Patience: Timing is crucial; allow natural processes to take their course. 
  1. Empathy vs. Sympathy: Use empathy to stay strong and truthful; avoid the weakness of sympathy. 
  1. Be human: Have the courage to open up and ask for help when you need it. 
  1. Strip yourself of power: Come off your “high horse,” but only when it is safe to be vulnerable. 
  1. Get out of the way: Know when to step aside and let others succeed. 
  1. Speak up: Find your voice early so that frustration does not boil over into anger. 
  1. Affirm others: Tell people clearly that they matter. 
  1. Acknowledge doubts: Remember that you are not the only one who feels insecure. 
  1. Apologise: Have the integrity to say “I am sorry” to those you guide. 
  1. Persistence: Know that skills—clinical or otherwise—improve with practice and time. 
  1. Provide opportunities: Create the conditions for other people to discover their own strength. 

Leadership conversations often celebrate the people at the front of the room; the visionary, the decision-maker, the person with the loudest voice. This conversation suggests that some of the most powerful leadership happens quietly: in listening without judgement, in sharing authority, in recognising when someone else knows more, and in standing beside another person while they discover their own strength. Midwives understand that they cannot give birth for someone else. Likewise, those who are leading cannot live, grow or succeed on behalf of the people they lead. What they can do is create the trust, safety and confidence that allow others to do it for themselves.  

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About the Author

Kavya Misra is a writer and producer with a background in theatre, films and digital content. Her master’s in English literature forms the foundation for all her creative and corporate projects. In addition to this, Kavya has an extensive background in theatre. She has written and produced plays. She has also performed at festivals like Bharat Rang Mahotsav by National School of Drama, India and International Theatre Festival of Kerala, India.

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