Taking space isn’t that easy as it sounds.
How much space can I take? Am I taking too much? Am I taking too little? Should I make myself smaller so that other people are comfortable? And what happens when the instinct to please, to care and to avoid hurting others becomes so deeply embedded that we no longer recognise it as a choice?
For Justine, a filmmaker and Explorer on the first Women Emerging City Expedition in Brussels, these questions took her back to something much earlier: her own Essence, her family, and a story she had carried without fully understanding it.
The Story We Carry Without Knowing
Justine discovered that some of what shaped how she led came from her mother’s side of the family. It began with a phrase that had stayed with her: her mother had described her as “the unwanted child”.
At first, Justine understood the words in one way. Then, as she was entering a new relationship, she began to question them. Why would her mother introduce her in this way? Why had she been made to feel that her existence was something that had to be explained?
So she asked her mother.
The answer changed the story. Her mother had not been afraid to have Justine. She had been afraid that she would not have enough money to raise her. That fear had its own history: a mother who had experienced poverty, hunger and the fear of not having enough. What Justine had inherited was not a message that she did not have the right to exist. It was a generational fear that had been passed down and attached itself to her existence.
Understanding that did not make the story disappear. But it made it lighter.
This is what exploring Essence can do. It does not necessarily give us an answer. It can help us see where something comes from, and in seeing it, begin to decide what we want to carry forward.
The Things We Do To Know We Exist
Justine’s exploration of existence was not only intellectual. Around the age of 30, she made an artistic project using a baby monitor. The object became a way of thinking about being watched, being cared for and being controlled – and about the tension between those things.
During the expedition, she returned to the project with her mother. The two of them explored the same questions together, using the baby monitor as a way into a conversation about care, control and what it means to take up space.
For Justine, the project eventually found its way into a film festival. Seeing her work on a huge cinema screen was an experience in itself. Her work was suddenly taking up physical space in the world.
She remembers shaking during the question-and-answer session afterwards. She had to feel her feet on the ground to steady herself.
But something had shifted. The screen had given her a very literal experience of what it meant to take space.
What Does It Mean To Take Space?
The question is not simply about being louder. Nor is it about becoming more dominant.
For Justine, taking space has come to mean no longer constantly asking herself whether she is doing too much or too little. It means being able to use her full potential and feeling that what is happening inside her is aligned with what she is expressing outside.
Julia sees something important in this. What once looked like a difficulty – the struggle to take space – can also become a source of strength. The very Essence that has made a woman cautious, attentive or deeply aware of others can become an insight into how she leads.
Justine has begun to understand her role as a filmmaker in this way. Taking space for herself also means taking space for people who might otherwise not be seen.
That changes the responsibility that comes with making work. It is no longer simply about telling her own story. It is about creating the conditions for other people to be seen too.
Care Can Be A Way Of Leading
There is another shift in Justine’s understanding of herself. She describes discovering a sense of “motherness” within her – not as something dependent on having children, but as an instinct to help other people become more fully themselves.
She brings this into her work with her crew. Rather than seeing herself simply as the person in charge, she wants people to feel safe enough to contribute, to express themselves and to take pride in what they are creating.
There is a connection here between care and creativity. When people feel that they can be themselves, they can bring something unexpected. New ideas can emerge. The collective can become more than the sum of its parts.
Justine does not see herself as separate from the people she works with. She sees them, and they see her, on the same level. Everyone brings something. Everyone contributes.
That does not mean she has less power. It means she understands her power differently.
From Pleasing Everyone To Taking Responsibility
Earlier in her life, Justine had responded to leading by taking responsibility for everything. She would stretch herself, try to prove her value and work hard to please people.
There was a cost to this. If the priority is making sure nobody is unhappy with you, it becomes difficult to make decisions that might disappoint someone. It becomes difficult to acknowledge that having power means that sometimes people will be unhappy with you.
Justine now talks about this as moving from being a victim to having agency. She can accept that she can be annoying. She can take space. She can have power. And sometimes, she can hurt people.
That does not make her careless. In fact, it makes her more responsible for the power she has.
The shift is subtle but significant. She no longer needs to see herself as someone to whom things happen. She can recognise herself as someone who makes choices and has an impact on others.
A Different Kind Of Energy
The change also appears in Justine’s Energy.
She remembers a time when she would hesitate to ask her crew for another take. She might think they were already tired, or worry about asking for too much. Now, she can ask for another take and explain why she needs it.
The difference is not simply confidence. It is clarity.
She knows what she wants. She can communicate it. And she can trust that asking for what she needs does not make her unreasonable or difficult.
This is part of what happens when the different Es begin to connect. The way we understand ourselves changes the way we show up. The way we show up changes the energy we bring to the people around us.
For Justine, that has meant moving from the energy of a victim to the energy of someone who knows she can act.
Finding Words For What Is Difficult To Name
Perhaps the most important part of Justine’s exploration is that many of the things she has discovered were difficult to name before she began exploring them.
The right to exist. Taking space. Instinct. Care. Control. Power. The stories we inherit. The stories we choose to change.
The 4Es give women a way to ask questions about these things without prescribing what the answer should be. They create a structure within which women can explore what is happening in their own lives, in their own way.
And for Justine, the exploration continues.
“I think the central thing in my life is trying to find how people can get close to who they are.”
That is what she now brings to her filmmaking, to her crews and to her own life. Taking space is not about becoming bigger than everyone else. It is about becoming less afraid of occupying the space that is already yours – and creating space for others to do the same.
About the Author
Kavya Misra is a writer and producer with a background in theatre, films and digital content. Her master’s in English literature forms the foundation for all her creative and corporate projects. In addition to this, Kavya has an extensive background in theatre. She has written and produced plays. She has also performed at festivals like Bharat Rang Mahotsav by National School of Drama, India and International Theatre Festival of Kerala, India.
