Leading Through Bias: Responding to Microaggressions from an Asian Woman’s Perspective 

“You’re so well-spoken for someone from that background.” “Are you really managing both an MBA and NGO work? That’s ambitious for a girl.” “You don’t look like a girly girl.” 

These statements may appear trivial to outsiders, just loose words floating in everyday conversation. But for women like me: Asian, female, a student, a professional, and a passionate social worker, they carry the weight of long histories of bias, stereotypes, and unconscious expectations. 

They’re called microaggressions, subtle, often unintentional comments or actions that reveal deep-rooted prejudice. And they sting not because they’re loud, but because they’re quiet, casual, and constant. They are like background noise to our lives—ever-present, shaping how we’re seen, how we’re heard, and how we’re valued in educational, organizational, and professional settings. 

I started my journey in social service in high school with the National Service Scheme (NSS), not because it looked good on a resume, but because it made me feel alive. Helping others connected me with a version of myself that felt real, beyond marks, expectations, and cultural boxes. 

Today, I study in an MBA program, while still serving three NGOs, one of them where I used to work full-time. The load is heavy, yes. But the pull of purpose is stronger. I belong to a generation of women torn between career stability, family expectations, and what the heart wants. For many of us, leading through bias doesn’t mean breaking through glass ceilings, it means navigating glass walls from all sides. 

Whether it’s at the boardroom table, the NGO field, or the college classroom, I have faced the same smirk: 

“You’re too emotional for this kind of work.” 

This is where emotional resilience in leadership comes in, not as weakness, but as wisdom. 

Responding to Microaggressions: Tools from Lived Experience 

Microaggressions do not need to be met with rage. They need to be met with clarity, courage, and strategy. Here’s how I have learned to respond: 

1. Pause with Power 

Not every comment deserves your peace. But silence doesn’t always mean surrender. In moments of shock, I take a breath and say: 

“Can you repeat what you just said?” Often, just hearing their words out loud is enough for the speaker to reflect. It opens a mirror without confrontation. 

2. Reclaim the Narrative 

When someone says, “You don’t look like a leader,” I now reply, 

“Maybe your idea of leadership needs an update.” Bias survives on outdated definitions. The more we live authentically, the more we expand what leadership looks like. 

3. Educate When Safe 

If the person is open-minded, I share how their statement may reflect a stereotype. I explain the difference between intent and impact: how good intentions can still cause harm. 

4. Build Community, Not Walls 

In my NGO circle, we hold monthly emotional check-ins. We share the things we’re too tired to explain in professional settings. These safe spaces aren’t just comforting, they are trauma-informed leadership tools. We heal in community. We lead stronger together. 

Living in Two Worlds: Competition vs Compassion 

MBA life is full of competition, strategy, metrics, and KPIs. NGO work, on the other hand, is built on emotion, trust, and service. But the world needs both: professional sharpness and human softness. 

For years, I was told I had to “choose one.” But I’ve learned to lead with both. The Harvard Business Review once said: 

“Leadership is not about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about making others feel seen.” 

And that is the bridge between a boardroom and a village camp. 

When Systems Don’t See You, Build New Ones 

Structural barriers don’t crumble overnight. But each time we speak up, we place a crack in the wall. Racism, ableism, classism, and gender bias still exist in NGOs and academic institutions alike. But so do people like us, women who won’t shrink to fit outdated systems. 

When we’re told we’re “too much”, too passionate, too emotional, too idealistic, we should hear it as confirmation that we are exactly enough. 

As activist Audre Lorde said, 

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” 

From Bias to Brilliance 

In every NGO meeting, in every classroom debate, in every moment where I feel torn between systems, I remind myself: 

I am not here to fit in. I am here to lead and to make room for others like me. 

Leadership is no longer a suit you wear, it’s a truth you live. And the world needs more leaders who lead from the heart, with history on their backs and hope in their hands.