In my last article, I shared something that people who are good at Cultural Intelligence have learned to do better than most of us: they have the courage or perhaps, the humility, to know when to move something from their core to their flex. That’s not easy. It takes a lifelong determination to unpick things about yourself and your culture that might get in the way of understanding other people’s cultures. But it’s worth it. Julia Middleton shares some helpful guidance on how to decide when to move things from core to flex, and if you missed that, I’d encourage you to listen to her insights here. 

But here’s the thing, even after taking the core and flex exercise, leading is not just about you. You will get into real life leadership scenarios where your culture will collide with that of another person’s or people. It happens all the time; in meetings, emails or team projects. Anytime people from different backgrounds, geographies, or generations work together, those differences rub against each other. And when they do, it’s an opportunity for one of two outcomes: chaos or collaboration. Our response often determines which one it will be. In a recent Women Emerging podcast, Julia Middleton shares four simple practices to help turn culture meetings into collaboration rather than chaos. 

1. Pause 

When cultures clash, our instinct is often to react, sometimes sharply. But one of the most powerful tools is simply to pause. Take a breath. Give yourself a moment before responding. That pause creates space to notice your assumptions and prevent a quick reaction that could escalate the tension. A pause can turn a misunderstanding into curiosity.  

2. Don’t Rely on Language Alone 

Language is often the first place we stumble. Silence, slangs, speed of speech, they all can create room for misinterpretation. But the trick is not to let language get in the way of meaning. Instead of dismissing someone because they didn’t say something rightly by your judgement, question your assumptions and lean in to listen differently.  

3. Don’t Be Defensive About Your Culture 

Here’s a hard one. When someone questions your way of doing things, the natural instinct is to defend: “That’s just how we do it.” But the truth is, your culture is not the universal reference point. 

Letting go of defensiveness allows you to see your culture as one way among many, not the way. That shift opens space for dialogue instead of debate. 

The fourth and profound practice Julia shares is actually a warning. She warns against being quick to flex when our culture meets with that of another person’s. Most of us assume that adapting right away is the polite, smart thing to do but it can backfire. Curious why? She unpacks that insight in the Women Emerging podcast episode on Culture Collision. It’s a conversation worth hearing if you want to move from chaos to collaboration the next time cultures meet. 

These practices, pausing, not letting language block meaning, letting go of defensiveness, not being quick to flex will transform culture collisions into an opportunity for collaboration and deeper understanding. 

More from this series

No Faking: A Punk guide to leadership The Importance of Self-Awareness in Everyday Living and Leading