People with high Cultural Intelligence have accepted something many of us have not: leading is not primarily about yourself, but about others. After all, it’s called leading for a reason; without others, there can be no leading. This may sound obvious, yet we often forget.
Cultural Intelligence confronts you with this other-centeredness of leading by showing how well (or not) you work with people across boundaries, whether those boundaries are geography, age, ability, goals, industry, skills, or beliefs. One thing is certain: developing Cultural Intelligence will both challenge and stretch you.
Your Culture: Core & Flex
To work well across boundaries, you must first understand your own. These boundaries are called your core and your flex.
Core: These are the things that define you, without them, you honestly believe you would not be yourself. In Julia’s exercise, she calls this the “I Would Never…” list.
Cores are not only grand beliefs, values, and principles but also small quirks and habits. For example, I have a friend who would never be caught chewing gum in public because he considers it razz. Another person’s core might be, “I would never wear makeup.”
Your list is unique to you and could go on endlessly. Pause for a moment: take a pen or your phone and jot down a few of your cores. Then there is flex.
Flex: These are the things you are willing to change or adapt depending on other people, their cultures, or circumstances. In Julia’s exercise, this is the “Things I Really Don’t Mind…” list.
One fascinating example Julia shares is of a man who used to pee in the streets. He realized it bothered others and decided to stop because, for him, it belonged in his flex. Like your core, your flex will include both grand values and quirky habits. Take a moment now to list a few of yours.
Both your core and your flex are essential. The solidity of your core and the fluidity of your flex together form your Cultural Intelligence. When people see that your core is solid, they trust your reliability; when they see your flex is flexible, they trust your adaptability.
Here’s where it gets practical. After listing out your core and flex, you’ll notice how they show up in everyday interactions and leading. For example, if my friend, who used to consider chewing gum “razz” decides to move it from his core to his flex, it might change the way he responds to others. At a meeting, instead of dismissing a colleague for chewing gum, he might overlook it or even find it an opportunity to connect or find out why they do it, rather than create distance. That simple shift can make him a more approachable leader.
At the start of this article, I mentioned one thing people who excel in Cultural Intelligence do well: they recognize leading is about others. Another is their ability to know when to move something from their core to their flex. You should know this too. In this Women Emerging Podcast on Core and Flex, Julia shares practical insights and examples on things that influence these changes and what should guide your decisions to change them. Listen here, reflect, and revisit your own core and flex exercises, you might discover something(s) ready to be moved from core to flex or the other way around.
