- This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 months, 1 week ago by Poonam Chakraborty.
For me, negotiation isn’t about power plays, but about presence, preparation, and grounding in my essence, something I’ve learned from the women who came before me. My grandmother led with quiet grace, my mother chose love over comfort, yet stood firm in her choices. I begin by listening deeply and genuinely respecting the other person’s perspective, even if I don’t fully align. Then I ask myself: What do I truly want? How important is this decision right now? This helps me communicate firmly yet gently, saying no not from resistance, but from clarity and compassion. Negotiation t about winning, but about creating space for my voice without silencing others, encouraging shared ownership and accountability. As women, we often hold unseen burdens; by speaking honestly about what I can and cannot carry, I honour my boundaries and help quieter voices rise too. Over time, I’ve realised that saying no can be as powerful as saying yes; it sets boundaries that invite respect. And most importantly, I negotiate not just for myself, but also for the women and girls whose voices still go unheard, carrying forward a legacy of asking boldly and leading gently.
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For me, negotiation isn’t about power plays, but about presence, preparation, and grounding in my essence, something I’ve learned from the women who came before me. My grandmother led with quiet grace, my mother chose love over comfort, yet stood firm in her choices. I begin by listening deeply and genuinely respecting the other person’s perspective, even if I don’t fully align. Then I ask myself: What do I truly want? How important is this decision right now? This helps me communicate firmly yet gently, saying no not from resistance, but from clarity and compassion. Negotiation t about winning, but about creating space for my voice without silencing others, encouraging shared ownership and accountability. As women, we often hold unseen burdens; by speaking honestly about what I can and cannot carry, I honour my boundaries and help quieter voices rise too. Over time, I’ve realised that saying no can be as powerful as saying yes; it sets boundaries that invite respect. And most importantly, I negotiate not just for myself, but also for the women and girls whose voices still go unheard, carrying forward a legacy of asking boldly and leading gently.
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I’ve been unlearning a long-standing habit of saying yes just to keep things smooth, probably something many of us pick up early on without realizing. Lately I’ve been trying to speak up more when something doesn’t sit right, even if it’s just naming an emotion or discomfort.
I’ve found that when I feel stuck or uneasy, that’s often the signal, time to pause, check in, and maybe say no. Still working on it, but reading this reminded me that it’s okay to take up space gently and honestly. Thank you for putting this into words.
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Absolutely beautiful. I deeply resonate with this, especially the idea of negotiation as presence, not power. Like you I’ve found that grounding in my values and honouring my limits has helped me lead and listen more intentionally. Saying no with clarity and compassion has been difficult for me, with practice, I am finding that everyone wins and there is something special that happens when you say no with compassion; people tend to resonate with that more and it becomes a win-win situation.
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Something I have been actively working on when negotiating and clearly communicating my needs and wants is my verbal discourse. I tend to start many conversations, especially with men or in a bigger group, with “this might be wrong”, or “I don’t know if this makes sense”, or “sorry, but…”. Words are very powerful tools and provide credibility, but can also be instrumentalised to discredit you(rself) (often in a very subtle way). I was wondering if you have struggled with this as well and how you “communicate firmly yet gently”?
Thank you Poonam for sharing! I have been keeping my expedition journal next to me when I read your post to take some notes and jot down my thoughts, because your words really stimulated me. I’m excited to go into conversation about this with my friends next time I see them :). Your authentic self really shines through in this post, and I believe that listening, compassion and clarity are central if you want to lead in a sustainable way, for yourself and others.
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Thank you Poonam for your sharing. I have quoted you where you said “I begin by listening deeply and genuinely respecting the other person’s perspective, even if I don’t fully align”. I find listening as the nucleus of the entire process of negotiation. I carefully listen to understand the other side. I create a space where everyone feels comfortable to share their interests and they should know that I truly mind about what they also benefit from the idea. Infact I very much try to apply one of the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey which is “seek to understand before being understood”. This helps me to not overmind about what I want but also caring about what the other wants. Another important aspect that I strive to bring out is truthfulness and authenticity which helps to build trust that makes a person feel safe with me. After laying this ground, chances are high I will get what I want without thinking about my being a woman as a limiting factor. This doesn’t mean that I have all the times got what I wanted,but sometimes I have just appreciated the negotiation process. I think as we continue to lead in societies that have given room for gender inequality, we should practically let our strengths be felt in our spaces of influence through proper negotiations and proactive demand for what we want.
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