“What have I done with my life?”
It wasn’t the first time I had asked myself that question. But a year ago, despite having a successful career, financial stability, and many of the things I once believed would make me feel fulfilled, I found myself asking it again.
Each time I asked myself that question, I assumed the answer must lie in achieving more, a better title, greater recognition, another promotion, or a higher salary. Yet even after reaching many of those goals, the question returned.
Don’t get me wrong, I was, and still am, proud of my career and what I accomplished, but I was still asking the question.
A Values Shift Within Myself
I reflected on this for months, trying to understand why I felt this way at this stage of my life, until it hit me!
It was not that I had done nothing with my life, the feeling was instead related to a values shift within myself. You see, the most important person in the world to me had been diagnosed with and survived cancer earlier that year, and walking through that experience had changed something fundamental in me.
It wasn’t that my career suddenly had no value. Rather, it no longer felt like the measure of my life’s worth. I realized that my relationships with other people held far more intrinsic value than any title, salary, or professional accomplishment ever could.
“What have I done with my life?”
This question will likely come up many times, regardless of your age, career, or circumstances. When it does, pause before answering, and ask yourself what you’re actually measuring.
What Truly Matters
Reflecting made me realize that connections, those small, personal moments, are what truly matter to me. Encouraging a friend who was struggling, making someone feel seen, showing kindness when it wasn’t expected, being dependable when someone needed you, offering empathy and compassion, or giving someone the strength to keep going, these moments shape people’s lives, often more than we realize.
Most of us can remember times when someone’s kindness made us smile, lifted us up, or helped us through a difficult moment. Those experiences stay with us long after they’ve happened. In the same way, the choices we make every day to support, encourage, and care for others can leave a lasting impact on their lives.
Achievements and accomplishments can certainly contribute to a sense of fulfillment, but worth is not determined solely by what you have achieved. It is also found in how you live, how you treat others, and the impact you have on the people around you every day.
Worths Work Differently
And success, well, it has a way of moving the finish line. There is always another promotion, another title, another goal to chase. Worth works differently, accumulating quietly over a lifetime through ordinary moments that rarely appear on a résumé. The encouragement you gave, the trust you earned, the confidence you built in someone else, the kindness you showed. Those are the things that remain long after achievements fade into the background.
Whether you are just finishing university, well into your career, or entering an entirely new chapter of life, there is still so much space to explore, grow, change direction, succeed, fail, learn, and discover what is meaningful to you!
A meaningful life, a life full of worth, is not measured only by what you accomplish. It is measured by how you accomplish it, who you become in the process, and how you leave the people around you feeling. Success may be part of a life well lived, but it is not the whole story. It is not who you are as a whole person, and your life should never be measured solely against what you have or have not achieved.
Understanding worth differently has freed me from seeing leading as something I needed to achieve and instead see it as something I have the privilege to give away. It’s about creating opportunities for others to grow, recognizing potential and encouraging it, and leaving people more confident than when I found them. If I can do that consistently, I will consider it one of the greatest successes of any role I occupy.
Who is Better Off Because I was There?
I’m in my forties and beginning a new journey as a student again, having resigned from my successful career to pursue a new goal that is more closely aligned with my desire to help people when they need it most, when they are frightened, struggling, or in need of support.
If worth were measured only by career milestones or achievements, I could easily ask again, “What have I done with my life?” But I don’t feel that way anymore. When I look back, I see the people I’ve helped, the relationships I’ve built, the kindnesses I’ve shown, and the positive influence I’ve had through thousands of small interactions.
When you inevitably find yourself asking, “What have I done with my life?”, pause before measuring yourself by titles, promotions, income, or achievements alone.
Ask instead, “Who is better off because I was there?”
I suspect the answer is far greater than you realize.
About the Author:
Eva Hofmann is a Women Emerging Fellow having participated in the WE Leadership Accelerator for Women in Higher Education. She is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Health Sciences degree while exploring a new journey into healthcare after having 15 years experience in business applications and service design.  She is passionate about creating opportunities for other women and building meaningful relationships while highlighting empathy and compassion as foundational pillars for leadership, connection, and positive change.
