We are an intriguing group of women on the ‘broader change’ expedition. The explorers are all women at the top of their careers, looking to move on and use their skills and networks to lead broader societal change. The group is intriguing because of its diversity, the explorers’ serious intent, and how quickly they have shared so openly with each other.
This was our second call; the first was taken up with planning, briefing and introductions. At this second one, explorers (1) fed back from the conversations they had had with each other over the last month about their Essence (2) the pieces that make up their Essence (3) their hunches about where their Essence was likely to either help or hinder them going forward as they look to lead broader change. (4) They also pinned down their ‘why’: why they seek to lead broader change at all.
These were some starting overall thoughts on Essence that I heard from them:
- They observed that Essence is not fixed but evolving.
- That the different pieces of Essence are interconnected and overlapping.
- That each piece was the source of both strength and weakness in leading.
- Explorers are asking themselves if the coping mechanisms they developed throughout their careers and which have served them so well will be useful as they look to lead broader change. As one explorer put it, ‘Which parts of me are welcomed, silenced, rewarded, misunderstood by the systems I enter’
- That some pieces are not ones you choose – notably ancestors and trauma – and others you do choose – like body and nature and education.
- Many Explorers were adding personal pieces of Essence, notably (1) place, which had instilled a sense of injustice in one explorer as she observed the inequality around her (2) career, one explorer talked about the experience of being badly managed for much of her career and the impact of this on her own leading (3) dance, which taught one explorer about discipline, regulating and navigating, about when to stand out and when to blend in and about the realities of meeting hard expectations (4) food (5) humour (6) otherness, the sense of being different, almost awkward, this piece of Essence was one I so hope will get unpicked a little by one of the explorers.
- One explorer having read all the explorer writings prior to our call, reflected on how hard it is to bring feminine essence into a male dominated world where walls are put up, ideas appropriated and when you can run out of energy to fight. She recommended preserving some of ourselves so as to be tactical in playing the game.
We looked at some of the pieces of essence.
Motherness
This was a big one. It is clearly central to explorers whether they have had children or not. It was expressed with great joy and pride, indeed as a super power. One explorer described as a super power how women mother each other.
But motherness came with a lot of questions too:
Can the sense of responsibility that accompanies it and which is so beautiful also be a burden : ‘does it make me impatient, controlling, hard to let go, wanting to do it my way, expecting of the same urgency in others?’
Another explorer was asking herself ‘do I too easily slip into parent-child relationships when leading?’
And for another explorer the question motherness came with was: ‘do I over protect people from mistakes, so that they never learn?’
Sacred
Many explorers felt that their sacred circle dominated – quite appropriately – their essence. This was expressed in different ways, for some it was simply an awareness of there being something bigger than herself at play. Explorers felt that if sacred was in your essence it would drive you to do good for others but – as with motherness – this piece of essence came with its own questions:
Does my doing good for others mean that I start to do things for them? The expression ‘kind but firm’ resonated with this explorer.
Another reflected that while sacred is a huge piece of her essence she might be overstating the dominance and that some of the other pieces have an overlapping role.
Not many questions though. For so many explorers sacred was a dominating force in essence and especially in moments of transition, when it is most helpful.
Education
This piece of essence was curiously less commented on.
Except perhaps in so far as it risked explorers thinking they know best and too easily assessing that the other person doesn’t. One explorer described how she likes moving projects so that she doesn’t fall into this trap and instead keeps learning.
It was interesting that one of the explorers who is most highly trained in her field, still spoke about her imposter syndrome.
Ancestors
One explorer coined the phrase ‘we don’t start our journeys from scratch’. She comes from a family of doctors and farmers and she knows just how much this has influenced her leadership.
Other explorers quoted family expressions handed down that had long lasting impact like ‘ there is no need to argue with stupid people’ this she said leads her to believe that not every disagepreement requires a battle. Though in the same breath she talked about pushing back on how things have always been done, it doesn’t mean they should always continue to be.
Another explorer talked about the difference between duty and responsibility and the need to distinguish them. That it takes too much out of you if you feel compelled to go down a prescribed route.
Another explorer talked about how ancesters can sometimes make leading harder, they make you stronger but they can also get in the way and make leading harder. After all you do things because they work for you not because someone alive or dead tells you to.
And another explorer talked about the instinct she feels to go her own way, thinking for so long that she doesn’t need other people to follow her. Now she is starting to ask people to join her.
Nature
Interconnectedness was the word repeatedly used to express the impact of nature in essence. And about nature being the provider of light, colour, texture, smell,taste.
A nuance was provided by one explorer who expressed the duality of nature, one minute growing and the next destroying.
Another explorer sought to be more specific, she didn’t have ‘nature’ in her essence rather she had ‘earth’ keeping her grounded.
Body
Almost all explorers saw body as an essential piece of essence, ‘it tells me everything’ said one explorer. ‘Think’ said one explorer ‘ there is a reason why everything feels annoying, it’s not enough sleep’.
This was perhaps most forcefully expressed by an explorer who is a triathlete who stated very simply ‘mind and body are connected’. Ignore body at your peril. One explorer said she had leant this the hard way, as she ignored the messages from her body, her brain took over and pretended everything was fine until it wasn’t.
Another explorer talked about an analogy she had found helpful. ‘Think of your body as like a phone battery, never let it go below 70%’.
Some explorers talked about their ADHD and neuro divergence and the impact – helpful and unhelpful, even sometimes super powering – this had on their leading. One explorer talked about how uncomfortable she is about her body and yet ‘ I still dance’.
Trauma
Trauma provided the background to almost all of the pieces of essence highlighted above.
I think that throughout our call a further piece of Essence was revealed: isolation. Explorers know many people, have many friends and family members and have extensive networks and yet they feel isolation, keenly. Is this a distinct piece of Essence or part of trauma or even the body? Who knows? I suspect however that it is deeply embedded in every part of their Essences and has a profound impact on both how they lead and how they will thrive through this expedition.
One thought lingered with me from this call. It was expressed briefly, almost in passing. Maybe, in this transition from career heights to leading broader societal change, as they leave prior roles and restrictions behind, explorers shouldn’t change themselves but become more themselves. Let’s see whether this comes back up as this expedition unfolds.
One thought burnt into my brain post our call, I regard 70% charged as not requiring attention for my phone. I need to think about this.
About the Author:
Julia Middleton is the host of the Women Emerging podcast and a best-selling author of “If that’s leading, I’m in” as well as two previous books: “Leading beyond Authority” and “Cultural Intelligence”. She is deeply committed to helping people from all backgrounds to find their own approach to leading. In 2020, Julia launched Women Emerging and in 2022 she lead an expedition of 24 women to find ‘an approach to leading that resonates with women’. She now leads expeditions with women all over the world based on 4Es methodology, discovered in the first expedition.
Prior to that, Julia was founder and, for over thirty years, Chief Executive of Common Purpose, which grew to become one of the biggest leadership development organisations in the world. Julia is also an Ambassador for the Aurora Prize based in Armenia, on the boards of Alfanar Venture Philanthropy in the Arab World and Equality Now, which operates globally, and on the Advisory Councils of Fundacao Dom Cabral in Brazil and Synapse in Pakistan. Born in London and brought up in New York, Julia was educated at French Lycées and graduated from the London School of Economics. She is married, with five children and seven grandchildren.
