On a weekend, I was having a conversation with a close friend who had just stepped into a significant role at a blue-chip company beginning of this year. Despite her impressive credentials and positive outlook on life, she shared how nervous she felt after being told by her superior, “You have very big shoes to fill”, referring to the person who previously held the role.
What was meant as a compliment landed as pressure. Instead of feeling excited, she began questioning herself, measuring her worth against someone else’s legacy.
That conversation stayed with me. It reminded me how often we unintentionally burden capable leaders with comparison, rather than empowering them to lead authentically.
This reflection inspired a series titled:
“I BRING MY OWN SHOES”
Redefining what it means to take over after someone great and how to reclaim your own leadership footprint.
This phrase, “You have big shoes to fill,” especially when stepping into a role previously held by a high achiever or someone who was valued, is one of the quietest confidence killers.
At first, it may sound like a compliment, that the person before you did well and set a high standard. But if you listen closely, this statement can carry pressure, fear, and a subtle seed of doubt. It quietly suggests that your success will be measured against someone else’s footprints.
Suddenly, the excitement of new responsibility becomes clouded by comparison. You begin to question your capability, and even your right to be in the room. You worry about living up to expectations, or worse, disappointing people who believed in you. You start to shrink, not because you are inadequate, but because you have been placed in a mould that was never designed for you.
But here is the truth we must never forget:
You were never meant to fill anyone else’s shoes.
Those “big shoes” everyone talks about are not yours. They belong to someone else, shaped by their journey, their personality, their strengths, their flaws, and their unique story. Their shoes may be too big, too small, narrow too wide or stiff for you. Yes, they look impressive, but they were never crafted to carry your purpose, your identity, or your assignment.
This is why the right attitude is not, “I will fit into their shoes,” but rather,
“I BRING MY OWN SHOES.”
Because your shoes, your leadership style, your experiences, your voice, your ideas, are designed for the path YOU must walk. The world does not need a copy of the person who came before you. It needs your authenticity, and your unique contribution.
When you try to fill someone else’s shoes, you limit yourself to the boundaries of who they were. But when you step into your own, you allow yourself to grow, evolve, and expand into the full measure of who you were destined to be.
Part 2 (The Twist)
Honour the path without losing yourself….
In an earlier post, I reflected on the weight that often accompanies the phrase “you have big shoes to fill” and I mentioned that for some leaders, especially during moments of transition, those words can quietly introduce comparison, pressure, and self-doubt before confidence has had time to settle.
Here is the twist…. depending on one’s leadership maturity, that phrase itself is not inherently disempowering. It only becomes so when comparison is internalised as a threat rather than understood as context. With reflection comes reframing. And like growth, leadership does not remain in one emotional state.
Maturity in leadership is not about insulating ourselves from the past, nor is it about rejecting legacy. It is about developing the capacity to acknowledge what came before without being eclipsed by it. The shoes worn before us matter. Oh yes, they do, because they give us insight into the terrain that has already been walked. They provide context, not comparison, understanding, not intimidation, allowing us to honour the past while taking full responsibility for the future.
The path walked deserves respect and honour. And yet, leadership does not ask us to become an echo of history, it requires us to become stewards of what comes next.
A grounded leader can say:
• I respect the shoes that were worn before me.
• I understand the path that was walked.
• And I take full responsibility for walking the next stretch well in my own shoes.
This is where confidence replaces comparison.
Where awareness replaces intimidation.
Where leadership moves from reaction to ownership.
So folks, “I bring my own shoes” does not mean dismissing the past. It means carrying legacy with discernment, learning from it, honouring it, and then leading forward with clarity, conviction, and self-trust. Because leadership is not about filling someone else’s shoes. It’s about walking your path well whilst acknowledging the legacy of someone else…So that others after you may one day do the same.
Legacy informs leadership……
Ownership defines it……
Walk the next stretch well….in your OWN shoes.
About the Author
Lillian Phiri is a Leadership and Transformational Coach with extensive experience in Higher Education Career Services and Student/Graduate employability skills development. She holds a Master of Philosophy in Leadership and Coaching from the University of Stellenbosch and is an EMCC Accredited Coach (Senior Practitioner). Lillian’s life is guided by President Mandela’s philosophy, “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is the difference we make to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” This philosophy defines her work ethic, her leadership values, and the impact she brings to every space she enters.
