How to Lead Without Taking Over

There exists a leadership paradox at the heart of every orchestra. An orchestra looks, at first glance, like one of the clearest expressions of how one should lead.  

At the front stands the conductor, behind them sit dozens of musicians. A small movement of the hand can bring an entire ensemble to life, and another can bring it to silence. To an audience, the arrangement appears straightforward: one person directs, others follow. 

Yet anyone who has spent time inside an orchestra knows the reality is far more complicated. A conductor’s role is not to control every note. Creativity cannot be manufactured, and feeling cannot be dictated. Every musician arrives with deep technical skill, hard-earned experience and their own understanding of the score. Success lies in bringing these perspectives together into something greater than the sum of its parts, without erasing what makes each contribution unique. 

In a conversation between orchestra conductor Martyna Pastuszka, violinist Anna Kuk and Julia Middleton on the Women Emerging podcast, the orchestra becomes a way of thinking about leading. The discussion moves beyond music to explore questions many women face repeatedly: how do you help things happen without needing to control them? How do you encourage others to contribute without stepping away yourself? How do you create something shared without losing what makes each voice distinct? 

Pastuszka captures the challenge in a single observation. 

“The freedom is an element that musicians and artists value a lot. That’s probably why you need to suggest, but not force.” 

It is a comment about music. But it is also a comment about leading. Much of the way we talk about leading still assumes that authority and influence are closely connected. The person at the top decides what others implement. The stronger the authority, the greater the impact. An orchestra turns that assumption on its head. 

Every musician on stage is an expert in their own right. They are not waiting to be told how to hold a violin or read a score. They have spent years refining their craft. What they need from a conductor is not instruction in the traditional sense, they need someone capable of bringing individual excellence into collective harmony. 

Pastuszka returns repeatedly to the idea of suggestion. 

“You can influence someone else by a beautiful suggestion of interpretation, but without taking away their freedom.” 

There is a world of difference between creating alignment and demanding obedience. One invites participation; the other reduces it.  

Listening to the conversation, it becomes clear that Pastuszka’s role is not to impose her will on the orchestra. Her role is to create enough trust that dozens of highly skilled people choose to move together. The more talented the people around you, the less effective force becomes. 

How We Lead Without Words 

One of the most fascinating parts of the discussion is how little of conducting appears to rely on speech. Anna describes watching Pastuszka at work: “When you see her leading, it’s like a dance. Not dance for ‘look at me, how I move’, but let’s be together with the shape. Let’s be together in the meaning.” 

The image is striking because it shifts attention away from authority and towards connection. A conductor does not spend a performance issuing instructions. Instead, they communicate through movement. Pastuszka is deeply aware of this invisible language. “You can say so many things just by the way you look, or just by the position of the chin,” she says.  

Most of us recognise this instinctively. We have all entered rooms where tension was felt before anyone spoke, we have all worked with people whose calmness steadied those around them, or whose anxiety spread through a team without a word being exchanged. Yet these dimensions of leading are often overlooked because they are difficult to measure. 

In Conversation: 

Julia Middleton: When you’re standing in front of an orchestra, are you trying to get everybody to do exactly what you want? 

Martyna Pastuszka: No. Because then you lose something very important. The freedom is an element that musicians and artists value a lot. That’s probably why you need to suggest, but not force. 

Anna Kuk: And you can feel that as a musician. You feel whether somebody is creating space for you or whether they’re trying to control everything. 

Martyna Pastuszka: You can influence someone through a beautiful suggestion of interpretation. But without taking away their freedom of interpretation. 

Julia Middleton: So the role is not to remove individuality? 

Martyna Pastuszka: No. Quite the opposite. The role is to bring different individualities together. 

Anna Kuk: That’s what makes the music alive. 

Martyna Pastuszka: Exactly. If everybody plays exactly the same way, there is no life in it. The challenge is to have all these different personalities, all these different energies, and somehow make them work together. 

Julia Middleton: Which sounds remarkably like leading. 

Martyna Pastuszka: Maybe. But perhaps it is also about trust. 

Lead With A Smile 

One of the more unexpected themes in the conversation is the role of warmth. Leadership is frequently associated with strength, decisiveness and resilience – warmth can seem secondary, even optional. Yet both musicians return repeatedly to the significance of smiling. 

Pastuszka recalls receiving a simple piece of advice throughout her career. “Don’t forget to smile.” 

What makes the observation interesting is that it is not presented as a matter of appearance. It is presented as a matter of atmosphere. “If there is a trouble,” she reflects, “the troubles are never so big that you cannot smile.” 

Anna shares a similar memory from her own training, a conductor once encouraged her to allow her body to smile. The idea initially felt uncomfortable. Serious musicians, she believed, should look serious, yet over time she began to understand what her teacher meant – people do affect one another, energy moves through groups and a smile does not eliminate difficulty, it can change the environment in which difficulty is encountered. 

The point is not relentless positivity, it is something more subtle. Warmth creates possibility. It helps people relax into their contribution rather than defend themselves against judgement. In an orchestra, that matters. Leading elsewhere, it matters too. 

Taking Up Space 

From the outside, conducting appears highly visible. The conductor is impossible to miss. Every eye in the room can find them. Yet Pastuszka is quick to point out that visibility is not always comfortable. 

“I wouldn’t say that it’s particularly easy to lead from the front.” 

Listening to her speak, one gets the sense that standing at the front is less about status and more about responsibility. This insight becomes particularly interesting when the discussion shifts to women and physical presence. Pastuszka describes something she notices repeatedly. “I see girls trying to be so small.” 

The observation is gentle rather than critical, she speaks about women crossing their arms, drawing themselves inward, reducing their physical presence. What she is really describing is a relationship with visibility. 

Many women are encouraged to speak up, take opportunities and step forward. At the same time, they receive countless signals discouraging them from appearing too confident, too ambitious or too noticeable. The result is often a tension between wanting to contribute and wanting to avoid scrutiny. Pastuszka’s response is not to advocate becoming louder or more dominant. Instead, she speaks about courage. 

“Maybe we could learn something. Just to be a little bit more brave and do things that matter.” 

The distinction feels important. Taking up space is not the same as taking over. It is simply allowing yourself to be present. 

From the audience, it is easy to assume the conductor is the person making the music happen but this conversation between Martyna Pastuszka and Anna Kuk suggests something else. The conductor may be the most visible person in the room, but their role is not to overpower the musicians around them. It is to bring together many different talents, interpretations and energies without erasing any of them. 

The art lies not in taking over, but in creating the conditions in which something larger can emerge. 

That is true of leading too. 

About the Author

Kavya Misra is a writer and producer with a background in theatre, films and digital content. Her master’s in English literature forms the foundation for all her creative and corporate projects. In addition to this, Kavya has an extensive background in theatre. She has written and produced plays. She has also performed at festivals like Bharat Rang Mahotsav by National School of Drama, India and International Theatre Festival of Kerala, India.