The classic to be or not to be vulnerable question that many women who lead quietly grapple with. We are encouraged to be tough. We are praised for being resilient. We are rewarded for holding it all together but where does ‘being vulnerable’ fit into this narrative?
We’re conditioned to see vulnerability as a weakness
Vijayi Balaji, CEO of Toolbox India Foundation
Vijayi Balaji was part of the Women Emerging expedition for women leading in India, in partnership with Buzz Women. What if vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength, but one of its truest expressions? This episode of the Women Emerging Podcast invites us to explore exactly that.
When Strength Becomes a Mask
Like many women in leadership, Vijaya often played the “strong one”. People would tell her she was tough, unshakeable. But she shares that this version of strength was sometimes a defence mechanism – ‘a façade’ built because showing what she was truly feeling “was not allowed.” We wear masks to cope, to protect, to perform. But masks have a cost:
- They block connection
- They silence support
- They stop others from revealing their own truth
Pretending we have all the answers becomes exhausting for us and isolating for our teams.
Vulnerability as a Leadership Element
On the expedition Vijaya recognised that vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength but rather another form of it. She describes her revelation:
Vulnerability is actually a strength… if you know how to own it.
Vijayi Balaji, CEO of Toolbox India Foundation
Though, does that mean, we should share everything we feel vulnerable about with our teams? Owning vulnerability doesn’t mean collapsing into emotion. It means communicating enough truth that others can trust you. Because teams don’t follow perfection. They follow what feels human.
The Vulnerability Compass
Before sharing something personal at work, stop and ask:
- Will this build trust?
- Will it bring clarity?
- Will it help others contribute?
- Will it deepen self-understanding?
If yes → share it with intention.
If not → that vulnerability might belong in a more private space. This is what Vijaya means by setting boundaries: There is a “thin line” between healthy vulnerability and vulnerability that becomes “counterproductive.”
Listen to the full conversation with Vijaya to hear how leading through a zero-revenue year taught her that while leading, you “don’t have to have all the answers… but can still deliver the best of what [you] can”; how trust isn’t declared but earned by “revealing your vulnerability first before expecting your team to share theirs; why vulnerability looks different across generations but is universal in building connection; and how saying “no” can be the most courageous boundary we set. It’s a reminder that vulnerability is “actually a strength” and you must find your own way to own it.
