- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 12 months ago by Dipika Nagpal.
We’re often told, “don’t get too emotional, think practically”—as if emotions are enemies of good judgment. But I’ve learnt emotions are signals, not obstacles. Recently, I chose to step away from a role after a colleague questioned my work ethics. Many advised me not to “decide emotionally.” Yet my strong emotional response was telling me something deeper: I didn’t feel safe or respected in that environment. Honoring that feeling was honoring myself. Looking back, I know I made the right decision. Emotions guided me to protect my values, not abandon them. We cannot grow in places where our dignity is compromised.
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We’re often told, “don’t get too emotional, think practically”—as if emotions are enemies of good judgment. But I’ve learnt emotions are signals, not obstacles. Recently, I chose to step away from a role after a colleague questioned my work ethics. Many advised me not to “decide emotionally.” Yet my strong emotional response was telling me something deeper: I didn’t feel safe or respected in that environment. Honoring that feeling was honoring myself. Looking back, I know I made the right decision. Emotions guided me to protect my values, not abandon them. We cannot grow in places where our dignity is compromised.
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Dipika, thank you for sharing this powerful reflection. I really resonate with your point that emotions are signals, not obstacles. For me, the distinction between emotional intelligence and emotional control lies in how we use our emotions. Emotional intelligence allows us to recognise what we are feeling, understand its root, and respond in a way that aligns with our values. Emotional control, on the other hand, often feels like suppressing or ignoring those emotions altogether.
A practical example from my own work is during tense team meetings. Emotional intelligence helps me acknowledge my frustration and channel it into asking constructive questions that move us forward. Emotional control would mean keeping silent, masking my frustration, but leaving the issue unresolved. Your story is such a clear example of honouring your emotions while standing firm in your values, and I find that deeply inspiring.
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You’re so right Jessica. It’s emotional intelligence that helps us read the signals correctly and act intelligently, not manipulatively. Like Dipika said, emotions are signals, not obstacles. For me, what I do is that when I sense an emotion, I name it. I could literally say, I feel angry and that’s because I feel disrespected. I can then go on to judge my next action; do I call it out? stating what has made me feel this way so that I give the person an opportunity to clarify their actions or apologize or do I decide on a better time to call it out? or do I think it’s not worth it at all and let it go for a greater good?
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I’ve often been told that emotions have no place in business, and I’ve also seen how women leaders are dismissed because of an assumed tendency to be ‘too emotional.’ But what I’ve learned through the expedition is that it’s okay to be who you are and to express yourself. Suppressing your true self in the name of fitting into what the world has decided for years only holds us back. This post really resonated with me!
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Thank you for sharing Dipika! I was happy to see that I was asked to comment on this specific post, because it’s something that hits very close to home. I loved to see that you stayed true to yourself and your emotions, and decided to accept your emotions as they came and used them to mark your boundaries. Which is far from easy.
A lot of it stems from misogyny, where being “too emotional” has been portrayed as an innate characteristic of women. Consequently, it is often thrown in our faces to discredit us. But as Jessica thoughtfully presented, feeling, understanding and reacting to your emotions is a form of intelligence.
For me, when I feel strong emotions rise in work situations, I take an internal step back to understand what has triggered me. Because emotions are always valid and they truly are my antennae (voelsprieten in Dutch). They give me an alternative (and complementary) understanding of the situation.
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