Owning Your Narrative as an Act of Leading 

There are moments in our lives when we realise how important owning your narrative is, we’ve been telling a story about ourselves that no longer fits. A story borrowed, a story shaped by expectation, a story that quietly feeds imposter syndrome, even as the world sees us succeeding. 

Maryam Pasha had lived inside one such narrative. 

“I had a story about myself that suggested everything I had achieved was luck… that I had stumbled into things rather than earned them,” she reflects. 

Maryam, cofounder at XEQUALS Studio is curator of TEDxLondon and has spent years listening to and guiding hundreds of people step onto the stage, searching for words that would hold a room in silence.

She joined Julia Middleton on the Women Emerging Podcast to explore why owning your narrative is one of the most powerful acts of leading. 

When the Narrative You Tell Yourself Holds You Back 

Maryam describes how her internal narrative once framed her achievements as accidental. Getting into a top university. Finding her way into meaningful work. Building credibility in rooms that mattered. In  

In her mind, these weren’t outcomes of effort or intention, they were coincidences. This is how imposter syndrome often operates: by rewriting success as luck. 

“If you come at what you’re doing from a place of insecurity,” she says, “you become defensive. You don’t feel grounded. You don’t feel like you deserve to be there.” 

And over time, that erodes trust, both in yourself and from others. 

Julia reflects back what so many women experience quietly: the gap between how others see us and how we describe ourselves. 

Narrative Is Not Spin. It’s Foundation. 

This isn’t about exaggeration or self-promotion. 

Maryam is clear that overcoming imposter syndrome isn’t about inventing a better version of yourself, it’s about telling the truth without diminishing it. 

“I didn’t wing it,” she says of her education and career. 
“I worked really hard. I navigated a system that wasn’t built for me. And I still succeeded.” 

That shift — from minimising to owning — changed everything. 

Not just how she spoke. 
But how she lived. 

Because leading, as Maryam describes it, cannot sit on a shaky foundation. 

“You can’t build a life on a narrative that does you harm every time you repeat it.” 

But is that enough? One of Maryam’s strongest insights is that discovering your narrative is only half the work. The harder part is sticking to it. 

Especially when well-meaning voices pull you off course. 

Your hairdresser, your partner, your colleagues. People projecting what they would do in your place. 

Maryam sees this constantly while coaching speakers. 

She reminds us that feedback without context can dilute clarity and that constantly reshaping ourselves to fit external advice reinforces imposter syndrome rather than dissolving it. 

“When you pretend to be something you’re not,” she says, “people feel it. Trust disappears.” 

Listen to the full conversation with Maryam to hear why changing your narrative is not about career strategy but self-respect; how imposter syndrome thrives on stories that no longer serve us; why “fake it till you make it” builds fragile foundations; and how leading begins the moment you stop shrinking your truth. 

About the Author

Kavya Misra is a writer and producer with a background in adfilms and digital content management. Her master’s in English literature forms the foundation for all her creative and corporate projects.  In addition to this, Kavya has an extensive background in theatre. She has written and produced plays. She has also performed at festivals like Bharat Rang Mahotsav by National School of Drama and International Theatre Festival of Kerala. Her diverse experience across theatre, media and digital content reflects her passion for storytelling and production.