For a long time, I thought courage meant making big decisions. Looking back, I realize I was making them all along. I led ambitious projects, took on increasing responsibility, and kept growing professionally. From the outside, I probably looked confident.
Inside, though, I was still afraid of being judged. I cared too much about what people thought of me, even those whose opinions had little to do with who I really was. That fear quietly influenced many of my decisions.
The Weight I didn’t Notice
I was also carrying too much. I had become someone who constantly took on more roles and more responsibilities. I believed I had to do everything well, for everyone. The weight of that expectation became exhausting.
The idea of jettisoning changed something in me. I began asking myself what I was carrying simply because I had become used to carrying it.
What I Choose To Let Go
The first thing I let go of was criticism that wasn’t helping me grow. I also started distancing myself from people who never really saw me. They looked at me through the lens of their own needs, expectations, and judgments rather than with empathy and curiosity. Limiting those relationships wasn’t easy, but it created space for something much better.
As I released those burdens, I felt lighter. I became freer, more joyful, and more courageous. I stopped trying to earn approval from people who weren’t truly part of my life.
What I’ll Never Jettison
At the same time, I discovered something I never want to jettison: my ancestors. Learning more about my grandfather reminded me that he loved me deeply, showed that love, and was genuinely interested in my life. That realization became part of my foundation. It reminded me that my story didn’t begin with fear or self-doubt. It also began with love, belonging, and strength.
Courage
Recently, a friend looked at me and said, “You’ve changed. There’s something new about you.”
“Yes,” I replied. “It’s courage.”
Maybe that’s what this expedition has given me. Every time I choose to let go of something that no longer serves me, I travel a little lighter. And every time I remember what truly belongs to me, my values, my roots, and the love that shaped me, I become stronger.
About the Author:
A. Hałat is a pianist, Doctor of Musical Arts, and lecturer at the Faculty of Arts and Educational Sciences of the University of Silesia. She studied at the University of Music and Performing Arts in Graz, Austria, and also studied Film and Television Production Organization in Poland. She performs regularly as a chamber musician at music festivals in Poland and abroad. She is also the Artistic Director of the Open Classics Festival in the Beskids, and the President of the Karol Rathaus Foundation, as well as an organizer and co-organizer of cultural events in Poland and abroad.
