Reply To: Why saying ‘no’ is a leadership skill I had to learn the hard way

Thank you so much for sharing this so honestly, I could relate to it deeply. For a long time, I too found myself in the space of always wanting to hold everyone, to be the anchor, the one who listens, helps, and says “yes” even when it came at the cost of my own well-being. As I reflected through the Women Emerging Expedition, I realised this came from what I call my motherness, an inherited essence shaped by generations of women who quietly held everything together. It felt natural, almost necessary, to step in for everyone. But over time, I noticed how this turned into overextension, exhaustion, and even quiet resentment. The turning point came when I consciously began to ask: “Do I truly want to do this, or am I doing it because I feel I should?” I learned to set boundaries gently but firmly to say NO and to trust that care for others doesn’t have to mean self-sacrifice. Saying “no” wasn’t about closing doors; it was about showing up more fully, with presence and honesty. And in doing so, I realised that true leadership isn’t about being everything to everyone, it’s about knowing what is truly ours to hold, and what we must let others carry themselves. Thank you again for voicing this, it’s something so many of us navigate quietly, and your reflection makes it feel a little less lonely.