What do you say to yourself when you feel imposter syndrome rising inside you?
Let me start with the definition of imposter syndrome: “Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
· Rename: A more appropriate word for “imposter syndrome” to me is “insecurity”. By calling the feeling as described in the definition “imposter syndrome”, you enforce the idea that you might actually be an imposter, whereas in the large majority of cases you are not. In my experience, recognising I am insecure at a given point is much more adequate than starting to wonder whether or not I am actually be a fraud. There is an interesting speech on this to be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoHDDgeQtlc&t=4s.
· Normalise: First of all, I remind myself that it is normal to be feeling insecure (or like an imposter) from time to time. After all, if you are doing things you have little experience in or have not done before, it makes sense you are doubting whether you do things optimally or even start thinking you are a fraud. Everybody has it at some point and to some degree, some are just better at hiding it than others
· Analyse and Act: If insecurity or even feeling like a fraud is a recurring theme (which has been for me), I have started analysing the thoughts that accompany this feeling. What am I insecure about? What are my beliefs about myself and my competences? What are my beliefs about the others? These beliefs may be rooted deeply. For a long time, I personally believed I was the only incompetent person in the room and the others are all super smart and competent. I have gained huge steps in self-confidence and lowered insecurity through positive reframing of beliefs and daily meditation.
What are the signs that an individual on your team could be at risk of burning out and what do you do?
Detecting signs:
· Deviation from usual behavior: Generally something is off when an individual shows deviation from their usual behavior (e.g. working longer hours, difficult concentration, motivation lower, more sick days, increased visible signs of frustration, cynicism or anxiety, complaints about headaches). Be aware that some people will not show any visible sign at all.
· Check-in question at the start of every meeting: Spotting deviations from the usual behavior can be a challenging task especially in busy periods. Therefore, I used to work with a check-in question at the start of every meeting. Some example questions: What is the first word that pops up when thinking about today/this morning/yesterday/…? How is the internal weather today? What is the first emotion that popped up this morning/noon/evening?
Taking action:
· Open conversation: Go into an open conversation with the individual with whom you have detected signs that something is off. Invite them to share. Make sure to listen mainly and ask questions so that the individual feels heard. Ask them about their workload, how they feel, what causes the feeling, etc.
· Ways to offer support: Together with the individual you find out what the appropriate next step would be. This depends a lot on what’s going on. This can either be agreements on workload, working times, days off, ways of working between the two of you or go further into seeking external support from the people team or even a coach.
What do you do to prepare for a difficult conversation with your team?
This is a broad question, so the answer below is in broad terms as well. Difficult conversations are often a “make or break”: They form an opportunity to bring you closer together as a team or make you drift apart, so careful preparation is crucial.
1. Gain clarity on the situation
Gain as much information on the situation you wish to address before the conversation. Also be clear in the conversation on what information you do not yet have.
2. Be clear about what you want to achieve with the conversation
Think about your desired outcome and avoid the trap of focusing too long on what’s not going right
3. Prepare how you want to bring the message or guide the discussion
Make sure to be specific and leave as little room for interpretation
4. Think upfront about how people will react
Thinking about how people will react will help you to incorporate different scenarios in your preparation and will make you more solid and set up for reaching the goal of the conversation. Think “When I say x, person y will react by z, so I will come via angle w to make it more easily digestible”.
5. Check-in at the end
Make sure to end the conversation with a check-in to see how everybody is leaving the conversation. You may also want to postpone the follow-up for later.
About the author:
Valérie Lucq is an engineer by education, a medtech scale-up leader by experience, and a life explorer at heart. She combines philosophy, physics, and day-to-day observations to help teams achieve sustainable success. Valérie is also a Women Emerging Guide.
