Reply To: Why saying ‘no’ is a leadership skill I had to learn the hard way

I understand that so well! When work isn’t done as it should be, I have the habit of taking a lot of twists and turns to say things, in particular by first using positive reinforcement and hoping, by means of an extremely benevolent dialogue, that the person understands that he or she needs to improve on this aspect of the job.
But with one of my team it didn’t work. I ended up giving up the idea of getting him to improve and didn’t even point out the shortcomings to keep the relationship positive.
One day he confronted me openly about a project he didn’t agree with. And that’s when I made a mistake and raised my voice in front of other colleagues, saying that I’d already explained it 10 times.
He didn’t understand my reaction so well that he lodged a formal complaint against me, which hurt me enormously and permanently.
I should have just told him straight out from the start.